


The Fallout

by Herwhereabouts



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-03
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-05-01 13:40:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14521776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Herwhereabouts/pseuds/Herwhereabouts
Summary: They pick up the pieces. They continue trying. They have to.





	The Fallout

**Author's Note:**

> It floors me that the Bearded Beauties do not have more people writing fics and odes to honor them and their precious relationship/interactions, so here is my attempt. Hope you like it!

Tony lands in Wakanda almost one week after the end of the world.

He hugs Bruce and Nat first, and when he pulls back, his pale face remains contorted in some painful paroxysm of hope. “Pepper?” He whispers, hands clutching at Bruce’s shoulders, and just like that, with the terrible thinning of Bruce’s lips, Tony’s strings snap. He hits the ground as an anchor in the sea, immovable.

Thor takes his leave as he watches Steve approach the scene with a pinched, sorry face, already getting on his knees to hold Tony from the side.

Animals make sounds like that, Thor thinks, as a gentle breeze ghosts across his dry cheeks.

The Dora Milaje follow him back to the palace. They have taken to following his lead after the fallout, waiting for Shuri to come to some sort of decision regarding the throne.

The ship leaves with a sonic boom in the distance, and Thor is only dimly aware of Rocket telling him something about his Guardian friends with a trembling voice before he leaves Thor’s side.

Thor enters the new room that the King’s sister has designated to him as his, and the Dora do not follow him inside.

He stares almost unblinkingly through the windows as the sun dips below the horizon, casting merry hues of warmth upon the land below, and feels none of it reach him. He thinks of other lands, with skies the color of sparkling azure and sprawling lands of verdant green, and bends forward suddenly, knees going weak. Breathing short, hands shaking, and suddenly blind and insensate to the world around. This abyss-like void has become so familiar to him now, that Thor is tempted to believe that he has never known happiness and must have imagined that he once did. Foolish, always dreaming for better things.

Always searching for a light.

****

After they have done a well enough job of clearing up the fields from the remnants of destruction and death, the Wakandan Shamans light a massive funeral pyre to symbolize the transmutation that their fallen heroes had undergone in the process of dying - moving from flesh to spirit.

The circle around the fire is solemn and the singing of the Shamans moves through Thor like a tidal wave, at parts expressing unspeakable grief and in other parts celebratory.

Okoye is sitting next to him, raw voice rising and falling in song. “Bast will lead them from here on. They will only know eternal peace amongst our ancestors.” Tears run down her face in rivulets and her eyes mirror the blazing of the flames.

Thor hopes that their God does bring their dead to a place of peace.

For himself, for his people, he no longer knows if Valhalla is a fevered fairytale or if it is even real. The ground beneath his feet is mercurial and constantly shifting. Perhaps Bast can lead all of their fallen heroes to such a place, if such things still exist.

***

Jane took him to her father’s grave once, long ago. She had told him of the ways that they buried and paid their respects to the dead on Midgard, and while Thor had found it very minimalistic and without much fanfare, he had respected the straightforwardness of it. In the distance, there had been a sunlit white obelisk on a grassy knoll, which had particularly stood out - the names of many etched into the stone. The image is seared into his memory for some reason.

It is a period of mourning over the next few weeks, and while they do hold meetings and plan to undo what has been done with grim determination, Thor visits one of the gardens surrounding the palace and starts constructing and shaping a giant obelisk in order to commemorate his loved ones, fallen comrades, and friends.

He chips, chizzles and smooths away at rough stone, and the Wakandans give him room to work in his make-shift cemetery and the tools that he needs.

It must be hours that he has been outside, and does not notice the prominent clouds overheard darkening and fitting to burst until it does start raining. His heart has been especially heavy that day. Each drop of water on his face feels like a benediction that he has not earned.

A touch lands on his shoulder and he startles. Steve squeezes his shoulder once and then drops down next to him on the ground, on the blanket. He silently starts working right alongside him, and etches names and dates with a heaviness that bleeds into Thor by osmosis. But the rain stops after a few minutes.

A little over an hour later, Steve grabs him by the wrist, face drawn tight, and says, “Come on, pal, let’s go grab something to eat,” and Thor follows him inside the palace with little resistance.

They finish with their tribute the day before they are set to leave to New York, to the new Avengers headquarters.

Something eases up slightly in Thor’s chest even though the prominent pillar reaching towards the sky makes their grief more real and more tangible somehow. The flowers they all placed around the obelisk are bright and overflowing and surrounding the entirety of the garden, and the perfume is sweet in a way that reminds him of his mother’s gardens.

Rocket sets down some flowers of his own before joining Thor and Steve on the jet, eyes wet. They do not comment on it, but Thor pats him on the back in a fondness for the creature that he wishes he could somehow subdue.

There is a layer of fear overlaying all of his affections now, because nothing good lasts.

Love is ephemeral and its peculiar nature has tricked Thor one too many times before.

***

The first night sleeping in his “Thor-proof” room - as Tony calls it - is a difficult one. Thor tosses and turns the entire night and the electric hum of energy rushing through him is dizzying and directionless. He’s angry, he realizes suddenly.

Angry at his family for burdening him with such untold horrors and sorrow, angry at Thanos, and furious at the Fates. For lying to him, for punishing him without mercy - for abandoning him.

He jolts to wakefulness at a touch and the sound of Steve’s voice calling his name. Steve is a dark silhouette near his bed, parts of his face and body casting into sharp relief at the electricity crackling and jumping off Thor and branching out into the room. He takes steadying breaths, sweat cool on his skin, and the buzzing stops. He does not know how he fell asleep, but it looks as though he did.

“I’m sorry for waking you up, my friend,” he says, and a tired smile graces Steve’s face.

“Nah, don’t worry about it,” Steve replies, mouth quirking up. “Figured I’d check up on you when I caught the storm clouds and thunder rolling in the sky.”

A minute passes and when Steve does not leave, Thor moves over in his bed and Steve gets in and sits against the headboard. “Netflix?” He asks, expression somewhat hopeful, and Thor passes him the remote.

***

Tony starts tinkering and strategizing with Bruce almost immediately. They beam Shuri into the lab and her hologram can be seen walking around the building and arguing vociferously with Rocket on many occasions.

Nat, Rhodey and Clint go on relief missions all over the city and anywhere else they are needed. Steve sometimes goes off the grid and no one asks him where he goes.

Thor helps the only remaining survivors of Asgard find a place to rebuild and mourn their dead near the Avengers compound. It is in thanks to Valkyrie and Korg that a hundred or so of them remain and were able to abandon the ship in escape pods, and Thor will return to Wakanda one day to honor them.

With the Stormbreaker, he also frequently travels off planet in order to find items that Tony might be able to use in order to build his time machine. Sometimes Rocket joins him, sometimes he does not.

To his surprise, Steve also starts tagging along with him on his journeys and the company soothes Thor and pushes the all-pervading silence that is always lingering now further at bay.

***

They are on Vanaheim one week, with Thor remembering an artifact of great power that they can perhaps use in order to either locate Thanos and the stones or aid in their efforts to build a machine of their own which can manipulate time. Months have passed now, but they have not stopped in their efforts.

Hope can be a funny thing. Hope can be maddening.

The people on Vanaheim look shaken but relieved at seeing Thor, and their Queen welcomes them with all the enthusiasm a being can, after having lost half her empire and planet in the blink of an eye. There is little doubt that she will cooperate with their requests. Thor feels too old and bruised to play the part of a seductive lover in order to further sway her. Nothing appeals to him anymore. He feels like a desecrated, hollow shell.

Steve looks down at the gifts in his arms - which consist of fine silken garments and jewels - with mild trepidation. Thor smiles, and clasps him firmly on the arm. “It is customary for heroes to be adorned with precious things here. You must change out of your outfit and into these. I will, as well.”

“Customary, even now?” Steve asks, a little warily, and Thor gravely says, “Especially now.”

The entertainment and feasts that Queen Asimara throws for them are opulent and fine, if a more intimate, smaller affair.

For the first feast, Steve does not leave his side, and frequently turns an interesting shade of red whenever their hosts and hostesses drop all innuendo all together in order to lure him to their beds. Thor watches all of this with some amusement. “I think they really like your beard,” Thor comments quietly to him, and earns an elbow in the side for it.

They tried to gain Thor’s attention first, but Thor merely waved away all attempts of seduction aimed his way with a sheepish smile and a wry, “I’m married. Sorry.”

“This is impossible,” Steve mutters, for perhaps the tenth time, after someone almost trips and falls into his lap. Thor laughs goodnaturedly and takes pity on him. He throws an arm around Steve’s shoulders and announces to the room at large, “My mistake for not clarifying earlier. I am married, and to him!”

Some cheer and congratulate them, some pout, and Steve turns an even darker shade of red, but they leave them alone after that.

When they head out of the hall and to the separate rooms that they were initially given upon their arrival, a maid informs them that they have moved them both to a single, grand room, since they are, of course, married. Steve’s eyes grow only slightly bigger, when he sees the ornate monstrosity of a bed at the center of the room.

Thor takes it all in with great appreciation, and tells the maid, “This is absolutely perfect, thank you,” before closing the door. The smile falls off his face when he turns around, exhausted from their travels. “I will take the couch,” Thor says, already half asleep where he stands and moving towards it.

Steve huffs out a laugh and says, “Thor, honestly. Look at this bed. We could fit four people on it comfortably.” The hem of his shirt gets stuck on one of the bejeweled necklaces around his neck, but Thor still turns around. “Are you certain?” The look on Steve’s face is earnest enough, even though he drops his eyes down a second later to rummage through his own bag. “Sure I’m sure.”

With that decided, they get ready for bed in silence, and Thor is loathe to admit it, but it feels nice to have someone else next to him when they settle in. It provides some solidity and eases him.

He knows that Steve has difficulty sleeping at night now the same as him, the few times they have shared close quarters out of necessity.

Between one breath and the next, Thor is asleep.

All of his dreams have the same foreboding, underlying current of darkness melded within them now.

In his dream, he is sitting in an audience as Loki is auditioning various actors on stage for a play he has written. Members in the audience laugh and Loki is snickering as the actors rehearse, but then Loki starts coughing up blood. Thor gets up out of his seat and goes to shake him, but Loki pays him no mind, and continues laughing as blood seeps down the sides of his mouth steadily, staining his teeth. He looks like something from a nightmare, teeth stained red, eyes reddening, and maniacal grin dancing on his face.

Thor comes awake suddenly, heart racing and fear coursing through his veins toxically. He is about to get out of bed to go get some fresh air, when he notices the furrow in Steve’s brow and the way his mouth is turned down, body tense, even in sleep. Sitting up, he gently shakes Steve in hopes to end his nightmare, as well.

Steve jerks awake after a few seconds, eyes wide and unseeing, breath gusting out of him uncontrollably. “You are okay, my friend,” Thor whispers, hand resting on Steve’s shoulder, and Steve shakes him off and sits up in bed next to him, drawing up his knees to his chest, face going into his hands.

“Jesus,” Steve moans, voice pained and wet, and Thor might not be the person that he once was, but he still feels as keenly as ever. Their pain is mirrored in many ways. Without any thought, he wraps an arm around Steve’s folded form and tries to anchor him.

Comforting others has always come to him easily, but now, in this moment, it seems almost foreign. It does not feel safe to do so.

A minute passes or more, and then Steve raises his wet face and wipes his sleeves over his cheeks. Their shared hurt moves them past being self-conscious and following normal social cues. He does not shake off Thor’s arm settling across his shoulders, and gives Thor a small, drained smile. “You okay?” Thor asks, and he gets a quiet, “Yeah,” in response.

Out of memory or reflex, he pulls Steve to him and kisses his forehead. Things lingering from childhood, perhaps, from playing with friends and comforting wailing, mischievous siblings. His throat closes up, as the memories surface, and Steve all but falls into him, arm going around Thor in a bruising grip, his face coming to rest on Thor’s chest as they both lie down again on the bed. They don’t say anything more and then somehow fall asleep.

They awake in the morning and don’t say anything about it.

It becomes a sort of pattern.

Shared beds, shared comfort.

There is nothing to say.

***

Back at the headquarters, a week after their trip, someone by the name of Jane Danvers shows up, alongside Ant-Man and the Wasp, claiming that they have figured out a way to reverse what has occurred and undo the magic of the stones. She is a protege of Fury’s and is formidable, based on the intel Tony and Shuri bring up on her. Thor respects her immediately.

Jane tells them that none of their friends are truly gone, they are just trapped in another dimension within the soul stone, and that changes everything.

The hope fluttering in the hollows of his empty chest brings a smile to his face, and a hardness in him incrementally relaxes, as Tony, Shuri and Bruce hear the trio’s plan and finetune it.

They need a couple of days to build the tech that they need, but built it will be, Shuri says, her sweet face bright and filled with life.

The excitement in the air is electric and it feels as though they are all shaking off Winter frost just in time for a budding Spring.

Steve catches him as he makes his way to his room, and Thor spins around to say, somewhat jokingly, “Yes, Captain?” There was more on the tip of his tongue, but his voice dies out, catching the curious expression on Steve’s face.

Thor has taken to his bed all sorts of partners, from various planets, species, races, and genders, so acknowledging someone as attractive is something he does with relative ease. Right at that moment, Steve is one of the most beautiful beings on any planet that he has ever seen. Thor has always found him to be striking, but it was never the time nor place.

“Thor?” Steve asks, smile kind of crooked and a touch of pink on the tip of his cheeks. “You seem happy.”

“Do I? Shouldn’t we be?” Thor rushes out, recovering just barely, hands going to rest on his hips casually. Before he does anything stupid. Like drag Steve to him and kiss the shy, unsure smile off his face and do wicked, wicked things with him. 

Steve shakes his head, chuckles, and says, “Maybe we should be.” After a beat where neither of them say anything and Thor feels tension between them stretch, he blurts out, “Do you want to go out to lunch with me?” All previous thoughts of guarding himself and his feelings, all attempts to not feel at all, crumble away at the way Steve kind of ducks his head down to smile.

Steve is lethal. He must know it.

“Are you asking me out?” Steve asks, somewhat uncertainly, looking up at Thor from beneath his lashes, and Thor teeters back and forth on his heels, and thinks that any time wasted in not pursuing this is asinine.

“Yes, are you comfortable with that? I know how humans on Midgard view things between same sex partners, it is slightly…” Thor does not want to offend, but Steve cracks a smile and helps him out by saying, “Stupid? Irrelevant?” Thor chuckles in relief and Steve continues with, “For God’s sake, I have had the shittiest few years, and if liking another human being is going to make all of this a little worth it, then sign me the fuck up.”

Steve is flustered and completely red in the face when he finishes and Thor says, again without any restraint, “You, Steve Rogers, are entirely too precious,” before he steps forward and wraps Steve up in a hug. Steve’s muffled laugh gets smothered and when they pull back from their embrace, Thor does not hesitate to lean down and kiss him. And just like that, they abandon all pretenses and Steve pulls his head down roughly to deepen it only after a few seconds of gentle exploration.

They kind of miss lunch that day, but do end up going out to dinner.

 

 

END


End file.
